Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Sarah attempts a confession

Hello there!

I'm that unfamiliar name you see in the top right corner of the page and in the About Us section. *points*

I'll be working as Suzie's assistant this summer, which means that I'll be hanging out on the blog and on Twitter with you lovely people. So I thought I'd introduce myself. After serious consideration, I decided that the best way to do an introduction on a blog called Confessions from Suite 500 would be, well, through a confession.

This turned out to be a somewhat problematic decision, since most of what I know about confessions comes from movies and TV shows, where the character usually rambles an I'm-not-sure-how-this-works-but-oh-wow-I-screwed-up speech... only to find that the priest isn't actually in the confessional. Then there's the seminar I took on sixteenth-century Spain, nicknamed Law & Order: Spain, but all those details about convent scandals and witchcraft trials, being centuries old, are probably out of date and not, you know, relevant.[*]

So I figured that I'd leave all of the canonical meanings of the term aside. Even so, it was kind of difficult to think of a confession that might be

a) publicly relevant, and
b) minimally humiliating.

I could tell you about how I cry every time I see or read the scene where Jo turns down Laurie in Little Women (meets neither a nor b); or that though I've lived in Argentina, Spain, and France, I'd never been to a non-coastal U.S. state until I looked at graduate schools (meets b, but not a); or that I'd never considered working in publishing until one of my classmates, after I'd tortured engaged her in conversation about commercial fiction perhaps one too many times at department functions, suggested I apply for the internship at FinePrint & Nancy Coffey (is this even a confession?).

As it turned out, despite all the talk about how the internet makes us perform some version of our private selves in public, I could not come up with one sharable detail that would actually be of general interest to an intelligent publishing blog-reading public. Or even of generalish interest.

Maybe the publicly relevant confession, I was forced to admit, was an oxymoron. I had to admit failure.

So truly, I am sorry. I don't have a confession for you. All I can offer is this apology-- and the promise that I'll never try to confess anything on this blog ever again.


[*]For the record, I did Google "confession." It turns out that there is an iPhone app that helps you prep for your confession and that if I went to a website with the word "hug" in the title I could anonymously confess to the internet.

20 comments:

ashelynn hetland said...

Hi Sarah!

Not confessing? On a blog about the CONFESSIONS of Suite 500? I find that very ironic.

Also: there's an app for everything.

Josin L. McQuein said...

You just confessed your inability to confess. You're doing good ;-P

Kristi said...

I think a good ramble is *just* as entertaining as a good confession, so KUDOS to you, and welcome! ;P

Bethany Elizabeth said...

I cry every time Jo turns Laurie down!
Also, since that was my favorite movie as a kid, I can't ever see Christian Bale as mysterious, dark Batman. He's just... Laurie. :)

Mike Koch - Protect The Risen said...

I find the fact that you 'Googled' it rather nostalgic of the movie Office Space. In that movie the guys look up how to launder money they embezzled from the company. At any rate, like the others said, welcome aboard and don't be shy; (no one else in here seems to be!)

Jodi R. said...

Laurie with a slight lisp, no less. *swoon*

SPOILER: I die a little - and cry a lot, every time Beth dies in book or screen form...

Welcome Sarah! Here's a random question for you (and for everyone else, for that matter!): do you have any idea why the Fine Print website doesn't work properly for me? Do others have this issue? The only things I can access are home, the google settlement, contact us and the blog (although once in, it says I don't have access to the blog either). When I scroll over anything else (e.g., About the Agents), the hand doesn't show up so I can't open that section.

Any ideas? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Thanks all!
Jodi

Cat Hellisen said...

Hi Sarah!

Welcome to the fpl team :D


I can confess that I have never read little women, I keep trying and get bored in the first chapter. *readingfail*

Sarah Goldberg said...

Thank you, all!

I'm glad there's some love for Little Women out there. @Cat, you should totally watch the mid-90s version of the film, because <3 <3 <3.

@Jodi R., the hand cursor does not appear for the other sections but you should be able to click on them anyway (at least, that's how it works for me). The hand will show up once you're in the Agent section for each agent, and likewise under Submissions for the specific guidelines. I've tried in both Firefox and Safari with no problems.

Jodi R. said...

Ahhhhhhh.... Now I see. Obviously I confuse easily, so thank you for your guidance. (Why have the hand at all then, though?)

I am hoping you will overlook my idiocy and be distracted instead by my love of Little Women (book and movies, not actual little women). "I could never love anyone more than I love my sisters..."

Thanks again!
Jodi

Monika said...

Welcome Sarah!

I don't cry when Jo rejects Laurie, but what Laurie became afterwards.

In return for your interesting confessions or quasi-confession, here is one of my own. I secretly love Robin Hood Prince of Thieves even though it's a terrible movie. I love the great one-liners and Alan Rickman and Christian Slater and even the Bryan Adams' theme song. I love the battles and the love story. I love Morgan Freeman and I love Christian Slater's line when he cadapults Kevin Costner over the wall. Alas, I am the only one I know who truly appreciates it. So there you go--my secret favorite movie that no one knows about except my family!

Kelly said...

@Monika, couldn't let you go on thinking you were all alone in your love of Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. I still rock my VHS copy and can sing every word of 'Everything I Do.' As far as embarassing movie confession go, I also, without fail, tear up at the end of Newsies. Another Christian Bale classic.

Welcome Sarah!

africa2asia said...

Hi Sarah, nice to meet you! :)

Kathy Bradey said...

Yay! Welcome :)

Jo should never have turned down Laurie (!!!) Just like Katniss should have chosen Gale (ahem... but that's a different argument altogether).

Rachael Harrie said...

Hi Sarah, lovely to meet you. Consider me a fan already - Jo and Laurie were made for each other (and I think your confession is publicly relevant, to all those who agree anyway *grins*).

Hugs,

Rach

Alex said...

I feel tricked but it was an amusing read anyway.

Also we at Boxing With Pencils are having a weekly 100 words or less flash fiction contest
with a cash prize of 5 dollars. So come on and check it out all you poor ass writers you know
you need the money!

http://boxingwithpencils.com/5-dollah-make-you-holla/

Derek Molata said...

Do I know you? :P

Kimberly said...

To the contrary - interesting indeed!

I cry over that same scene. Every time.

Tombstone said...

I think a sale of indulgences app is probably more useful than a confession app . . .unless they are the same.

Dark Angel said...

Welcome! :-)

Look forward to reading your posts.

~Sherry
http://sherrysoule.blogspot.com/

esss said...

That's what i was looking for. I will definitely share it with others.
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Five Random Things About Suzie

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2. I'm legitimately nocturnal (or a vampire). I will be so exhausted at two pm that I'm falling asleep standing up - it has happened before, at Six Flags no less - but as soon as the sun goes down I'm wide awake.

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4. Social anxiety plagues me daily. I write a script and practice in front of the mirror when I have to make a phone call, but most people who interact with me have no idea how nervous I am (or perhaps they lie) because I've worked so hard to try to overcome it.

5. I'm actually worried that I will never love my children (when I do have them in the far off future) as much as I love my dogs. I just like animals better than people - they're sweet and innocent and soft and furry - is that so wrong?