Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Review of BEAUTY QUEENS by Libba Bray

Today I'm thrilled to welcome the fabulous Jessica Tudor to the blog to co-post this review with me...

Jessica Tudor lives outside Philadelphia with her mad scientist husband and two mud turtles named Bogey and Bacall, where she writes young adult/fantasy books. Her work is represented by Super Agent Suzie Townsend of Fine Print Lit. She is Christian, vegan, and nominally crazy. You can find her on Twitter and at her website.

MISS TEEN DREAM FUN FACTS PAGE!

Please fill in the following information and return to Jessie Jane, Miss Teen Dream Pageant administrative assistant, before Monday. Remember, this is a chance for the judges and the audience to get to know YOU. So make it interesting and fun, but please be appropriate. And don’t forget to mention something you love about our sponsor, The Corporation!

Name: BEAUTY QUEENS
State: Libba Bray’s crazy mind
Age: Released May 24 (a youthful three weeks old)
Height: 400 pages
Weight: 1.2 lbs according to Amazon
Hair: Books don’t have hair, but if I did it would be Pantene lustrous
Eyes: Ditto on the eyes, but you can imagine a Caribbean turquoise
Best Feature: Hello, have you seen my cover?

Check out my awesome lipstick bandolier.

Fun Facts About Me:

  • I have the most whack-tacular plot[*], yet it all fits together, much like Cate Blanchett on the red carpet.
  • Though sometimes the satire makes it hard to connect to my characters, I am unputdownable.[**] My characters are well-developed and despite the large cast, easily differentiated. Miss Mississippi (Tiara) is a surprise favorite.
  • I bring the swoon. Though I don't have much space to dedicate to the couples, all the relationships are believably handled. Also, I support the right of all couples, hetero- or queer, to be swoon-worthy. A shout-out to all my LGBTQ friends in the audience![***]
  • I’m smart and thought-provoking, but so much fun you can’t hold it against me. In fact, I make smart the new pretty. When I'm grown up, I hope to open a Smart School where I teach critical thinking and wilderness survival skills for teenagers of all nationalities, religions, and cultures.[****]
  • My extracurriculars include advertisement scripts, fact sheets, footnotes, song lyrics, and classified reports.
  • I am practically perfect in all of my masterfully written, satiric, feminist kick-assery.[*****] My biggest flaw is that there's only one of me. However, I love The Corporation Bookstore, where you can also purchase books like The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks by E. Lockhart and The Unidentified by Rae Mariz for more thought provocation.

[*]A plane full of beauty queens crashes on a deserted island. "Welcome to the heart of un-exfoliated darkness."
[**]The Corporation suggests that Sarah and Jess note that the only reason it took them two sittings to read me is because they paused partway through to gush on Twitter.
[***]Pageant official started to say something but was too upset.
[****]The Corporation suggests replacing the critical thinking portion with something less threatening like hygiene.
[*****]Pageant official says I should not use the words "feminist" or "kick-assery," as they think these words sound like we're radical, and want to know if I can change it to "feminine" and "empowerment."

10 comments:

Stephsco said...

I just saw Libba Bray at a This is Teen book event tonight. I can't wait to read this!

Sarah Pearson said...

Oh, now doesn't this sound like a fun Summer read? :)

Mardel said...

"nominally crazy"....love it. I also enoyed this version of a book review - worthy of a review itself!

thanks for the goos time. :)

veela-valoom said...

I loved this book. Reviewed it on my blog too.

This is a book thats upfront about what it thinks, who it is and it pretty much rocks. It is also hilarious.

Sarah Laurenson said...

It's next on my TBR stack. Can't wait!

Monika said...

It's on my list, like anything Libba Bray writes, but sadly it'll be a while.

Rachael Harrie said...

"Pantene lustrous" - LOL

It sounds like an awesome book, I can't wait to read. And I love the book review, so creative!

Rach

Tracey Neithercott said...

Best review ever.

I just got this in the mail this week. I haven't read it yet, but I did read the introduction. I can already tell it's going to be awesome.

esss said...

Oh wow. These are such good books.. I may just have to pick up the book. (By the way, my daughter's entire college campus read "Life Together" last year. Isn't that cool?)
Essay Writing

charmaine smith said...

I still want to read it just because I cant get my head around the concept of beauty queens being stranded lol

Charmaine Smith (For more on Premier Fishing Trips Charters Sitka Alaska South East - click here)

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Five Random Things About Suzie

1. I drink so much orange soda, it's probably running through my veins. I've been known to go through a twelve pack of diet sunkist in a day.

2. I'm legitimately nocturnal (or a vampire). I will be so exhausted at two pm that I'm falling asleep standing up - it has happened before, at Six Flags no less - but as soon as the sun goes down I'm wide awake.

3. I have a gorgeous unused $6000 Reem Acra wedding dress hanging in my closet, and it showed up on my doorstep the same day my (now ex) fiance broke up with me. And thank God for that. I wouldn't have wanted to waste that dress on him.

4. Social anxiety plagues me daily. I write a script and practice in front of the mirror when I have to make a phone call, but most people who interact with me have no idea how nervous I am (or perhaps they lie) because I've worked so hard to try to overcome it.

5. I'm actually worried that I will never love my children (when I do have them in the far off future) as much as I love my dogs. I just like animals better than people - they're sweet and innocent and soft and furry - is that so wrong?