Friday, July 9, 2010

Who Wants an ARC of The DUFF?

Because I have one - and it's signed by none other than the lovely and fabulous Kody Keplinger.

Seventeen-year-old Bianca Piper is cynical and loyal, and she doesn't think she's the prettiest of her friends by a long shot. She's also way too smart to fall for the charms of man-slut and slimy school hottie Wesley Rush. In fact, Bianca hates him. And when he nicknames her "Duffy," she throws her Coke in his face.


But things aren't so great at home right now. Desperate for a distraction, Bianca ends up kissing Wesley. And likes it. Eager for escape, she throws herself into a closeted enemies-with-benefits relationship with Wesley.


Until it all goes horribly awry. It turns out that Wesley isn't such a bad listener, and his life is pretty screwed up, too. Suddenly Bianca realizes with absolute horror that she's falling for the guy she thought she hated more than anyone.


Now, how can you get your hands on my signed ARC?  You must win a writing contest! (hey, these are fun).

The DUFF is an acronym for The Designated Ugly Fat Friend.  In the book, Bianca first learns of the acronym when Wesley is calling her The DUFF (she douses him with her drink before that night is over).

To win, you need to write a short story - 100 words or less - introducing a new acronym that applies to Boys (note: your acronym doesn't have to be BOYS, it just has to apply to them).

You have until midnight on Monday 7/12!

Enter as many times as you want.

45 comments:

kristinecruz said...

Awesome contest! I've a question, though. Is it open internationally? :)

suzie townsend said...

Yes, open internationally. :)

Tye said...

I used to think he was charming...cute even. Until I rejected his clumsy advances.

I wondered how he always managed to work the word SIT into a sentence when I was around. Then I learned it was an acronym for Slut In Training.

He never understood why all I said as I walked away was, Boy.

My acronym for Begone Overwhelming Youth

Kristine said...

They told me first kisses don't matter anymore.

Then I guess there's not much else to say.

So what if he slept with my best friend?

They said first kisses don't matter.

Especially when they're with BUMS like him.


(Please see: ButtUgly ManSlut)


p.s. I foresee an abundance of bitter entries to come. ;)

Patty Blount said...

Ooo, fun contest. OK, here goes:

"Bye, Elmo." I said, ignoring his bewildered expression.

I headed to the rest room, conferred with Myself in the reflection. I didn't need him, or the dozens like him, the LMOEs. I had standards and he wasn't meeting them.

With a grin at Myself, I repeated the mantra, "Not if you were the Last Man On Earth."

Remilda Graystone said...

Creative contest! I'll have to put on my thinking hat for this one!

jdh said...

As a conscientious objector in the battle of the sexes, I will sit this one out. :)

Jenn Marie said...

Yay! Here's mine:


“See ya,” he said, and I replayed it like a mantra. Did he wink at me as he left the lunch table or had I imagined it?

I glow-walked through the cafeteria until Katie stopped me with cautioning eyes and a shake of the head.

“Don’t chase,” she whispered. Brian had paused in the hall. Was he waiting for me? I watched for signs of hope. “He’s a little FAST for you…”

I gulped, knowing the code. Flirty! Attractive! Smart! …Taken.

A blonde appeared next to him. They greeted. Warmly. As in mouth on mouth.

My glow died flat.

Taken.

Red Boot Pearl said...

A dirt clod smacked my head.

“Gee thanks Doug,” I scraped the sand from my inner ear.

“No problem sweet lips,” Doug made a kissy face and ran off as the mud fight ensued around us.

“Ugh, I actually liked this shirt,” I muttered to Tina.

“Is this really an attempt to flirt?” Tina scraped mud off her leg.

“I hate BOYS.”

“What about Jeff?”

“He doesn’t count…he’s a man.”

“You mean you hate Brainless Octopi Yielding Slim.”

“I was going for Boneheaded Odoriferous Yetis Suck, but that works too.”

lanna-lovely said...

I totally fail at acronyms and writing stories with less than 100 words (I had to cut out half of this to make it less than 100, damn). Anyway, here is the fail:

"What are you doing?" Jamie asks, gaping at me like I've sprouted an extra head.

"Kissing you," I say simply.

"Why?"

"Because I want to."

"But I thought Chris asked you out..."

Ah, Chris. The schools resident man slut in the making.

"He did," I confirm.

"Then why-"

"My mom always told me to dodge a hit and just swing." I shrug, and before he can even voice his confusion, I kiss him again.

Chris is definitely a Heartbreaker In Training, but Jamie… he’s different, one of the good ones. So I'm taking moms advice and Sticking WIth Nice Guys.

MarissaV said...

“Lily, watch this.”

“Mike?”

“Hi, Jane! Is this seat taken?”

“Yes, but I have a question for you. Why haven’t you asked Sara to the dance?”

“Sara?”

“Yes.”

“She’s not my type. Do you have a date?”

“We’re not talking about me. Sara is cute. Why haven’t you asked her?”

“Well, umm, she is kind of fat.”

“Mike, you are short. At least Sara can lose a little weight.”

“Jane! That was mean! Look at him, he is heartbroken. You know he has a crush on you.”

“Oh, hush, Lily. Mike is a bird.”

“A bird?”

“Boy in rampant denial.”

Kara said...

(Is it cheating to actually use BOYS as my acronym?)

Boys. Sometimes a girl just needs one.

Trust me: you don't.

I never should have taken dating advice from a Britney Spears song anyway. She should have called it "Men." Maybe then I wouldn't have wasted three years of my high school career on a pimply, X-box playing, post-adolescent loser who thought "Nice ass" was an acceptable way to say "I Love You."

But I learned my lesson, and now I'm forever swearing off of BOYS: Big Obnoxious Young Shitheads.

Shoshana Beaubahna said...

My mother introduced me to Wayde, her newest boyfriend. His huge ‘Women Are The Breast’ belt buckle jingled repulsively.

“Hey, there, cutie. You’re just as sexy as your Mama.” He was still a boy, and definitely a DOOSH. A Disgusting, Obtuse, Objectifying, Sleazy Horndog.

“Thanks.” I turned to my mother, who was still gazing at him. “Is there anything you want me to bring back for you, Ma?”

“No, she’s got all she needs right here,” he said. Big wink. Ugh.

“Okay, Ma. I’ll see you Sunday.” I bent over her wheelchair and kissed her cheek. “Happy Ninetieth.”

Marjorie said...

I was with Betsy and Carol at Six Flags Great Adventure to take one last ride on the Great American Scream Machine before it was removed to make way for a new attraction.

"Gidget," called Carol. Ugh, I hated my name. My mother named me after her favorite Sandra Dee movie. So embarrassing. "Gidget let's go, there could be a line."

When we reached the boardwalk, some guy in the crowd called, “Gidget.” Carol taunted, “Gidge, it's Max.”

"Shut up," I replied. I did not on this day need to see a BWIK, you know: a boy who I kissed.

Lynsey Newton said...

Thank you for the contest, I've been dying to read this book. Here is my entry:

“Oh my God Josh, you’re a CAW”. He stands there with a confused look on his face which totally validates my point.

“A WHAT?”

I fold my arms defiantly and give him one of my infamous looks that I’ve become known for.

“A CAW”.

“Is this another one of your silly acronyms that you and your girlfriends have made up in between talking about fashion, books and makeup?” I don’t answer but my foot begins to tap and my mouth is twisting. He lets his hands rise and fall back down to his sides and sighs “I’m almost afraid to ask, what the hell is a CAW?”

I make sure I speak slowly, leaving a pause between each word “Confused. About. Women”.

He drops his head, raises an eyebrow and says “Sarah, you’ve just described every guy on earth today”.

lynsey(at)narrativelyspeaking(dot)com

Lynsey Newton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lynsey Newton said...

OK, just in case you have to use BOYS....

I first noticed Jay in 9th grade when we had classes together. He was definitely cute and only got cuter as the years went by. He used to be shy as I recall but then as he discovered the female form, he became one of the BOYS. To everyone else, this means nothing. But to me and my girls it stands for Big Outrageous Young Sluts. Jay had a new girlfriend every week and rumours about his conquests soon spread like wildfire around the school. I still liked him but there is no way I was going to be just another meaningless girl on his arm. No, I didn’t want “one of the BOYS”. I was waiting for Jay to become a MAN (muscley and nice).

lynsey(AT)narrativelyspeaking(DOT)com

Marjorie said...
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Marjorie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marjorie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marjorie said...

Lynsey has a good question. Just in case we do have to use BOYS, here is my alternate entry:


I was with Betsy and Carol at Six Flags Great Adventure to take one last ride on the Great American Scream Machine before it was removed for a new attraction. 



"Gidget," called Carol. Ugh, I hated my name. My mother named me after her favorite Sandra Dee movie. So embarrassing. "Gidget let's go, there could be a line." 



When we reached the boardwalk, some guy in the crowd called, “Gidget.” Carol taunted, “Gidge, it's Max.” 



"Shut up," I replied. I did not on this day need to see one of the BOYS, you know: a boring obnoxious yakass scramel.

Carolin Seidenkranz said...

Yay, thanks for doing this. :D

"God, what a DIT," Ashley said next to me.

"A what?" I looked aside at her confusion and slammed my locker door.

She jerked her head to the side, indicating a guy with his friends, obviously making an obscene joke about a girl passing by them.

"A dickhead in training." Ashley gave me a meaningful look and turned to leave. My gaze lingered on him.

Justin. I couldn't keep my heart from doing a flip-flop as I saw him. He was an ass, yes, but a cute ass. I had gotten a taste of his allure recently in the broom closet, only for him to ignore me a day later.

"I don't think he's in training anymore. He's already a pro."

Too Cute said...

“Dude, check her out.” Ryan jerked his head at the blonde sitting at the bar.

“Which one?” I asked.

“Which one? Are you shitting me?”

“Yeah, but why should I even bother looking?” I shrugged. “I’m just gonna end up with her crazy, annoying friend.”

Ryan shot another look at her longs legs, licking his lips unconsciously. “How do you even know she came with someone?” he said, starting to ease off his barstool.

“The hot ones always do. And when I’m with you, I get stuck with them.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m a PAW. Perpetually a Wingman.”

Latoya Alloway said...

Darcy called an emergency BFF meeting.
“His name was Kevin?”
“Yes.”
“And he called your cell phone?”
“Yes. Some girl at the Waffle House gave him the wrong number.”
“And you pretended to be her?”
“Yes.”
“Why in God’s name did you do that?”
“He sounded nice.”
“You met him?”
“Not in person.”
“And this has nothing to do with Stephen dumping you a week before your wedding?”
“Absolutely not.”
Darcy’s friend looked doubtful, “What did you talk about?”
“Xbox.”
“Xbox? You cougar! He’s 18, right?”
“Yes.”
“You’re 28.”
“BOYS are nice to talk to.”
“BOYS??”
“Beautiful, obviously young stallions.”

Mandy said...

Amazing contest!

“Honey,” Caroline sighed. “I know you loved him, but you knew from the start, that it’d just never work, right? You know ghosts don’t do for good boyfriends.”
I looked at her sadly. “I guess I had hopes,” I said lamely.
She hugged me tightly, as those shameful tears came back. “I know, honey,” she said softly. “But face it, Sophie. The guy was just TDFY, and you know it.”
I giggled at the old code. “I haven’t used that in some time,” I said, drying up my tears and taking a deep breath.

(TDFY = Too Dead For You.)

salarsenッ said...

Gravel from his angry tires sprayed my shins. He revved the engine and peeled out, cocky grin splattering his face. I relaxed one fist, brushed off my legs, and glanced at my other fist. My fingers unfolded lazily, his driver’s license captured in my palm. That was when the police cruiser flicked on its blues and pulled Jimmy and his silver spoon over. For someone driving without a license and booze in Daddy’s BMW, he should be more observant.

I pivoted on my broken high-heel shoe and smirked. “Shouldn’t have called me a prude, Jimmy. Big Ownage Yuppie Sucker.”

KO said...

I stare into my solo cup, feeling woozy. My first party with the elites, I don’t want to get sick. I turn to Megan,
“So what’s with you and Jess?”
“What do you mean?” she asks.
“I mean, he seems cool and into you. Do you like him?”
“Nobody likes Jess,” she says.
“That’s ridiculous, everybody loves Jess.”
“No, I mean, nobody likes Jess that way. He’s the FUNG.”
“What’s that?” I ask.
“The Funny but Un-date-able Nice Guy. Everybody loves him, but nobody ever dates him,” she says.
I turn back toward the party, feeling empty despite the crowd.

Marjorie said...

I see you clarified the rule regarding the acronym. You did not say if we can enter more than once. Please clarify. If only one entry is allowed, I will have to remove one. i take contests seriously.

Quizzical Feline said...

Bianca swayed through the party. She bumped into someone, who spilled beer on himself.

“Fuck! Watch it, Duff.”

“Stuff it, Manwhore.”

“How original.”

“And 'Duff' is so very clever.” She considered telling him he was a Retromingent Evolutionary Dead-End, but why waste that on him?

“It’s accurate. Wanna know why?”

“I don’t care.” She paused. Why not? “It’s probably something only a REDE would think of.”

It was obvious he didn’t get it, but he asked, “Is that the best you can do?”

She laughed. “Is this better?”

Her beer covered his face before he could say anything.

Marjorie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marjorie said...

Carol, Betsy and I returned later that summer to Six Flags Great Adventure. This time, we were on the boardwalk for the Premio Italian Sausage Eating Contest.

I started to think about Max. OK, so I exaggerated like a wannabe shiznit when I said he was one of the BOYS, a boring obnoxious yakass scramel. I mean, he did come over the next week and fix the logic board on my PC.

I was putting boys into little boxes and labeling the boxes. I had become an URB, you know: a total “uber radish bitch” who sweats boys.

Bianca said...

Marie looked across the table at her friend since the 7th grade. "Kristin, why won't you let me set you up with one of my friends?"

Kristen was less than please at her attempts at trying to set her up with random guys ever since she found out Tony had been cheating on her.

"Whoever he is, he's probably a member of The JAP club."

"The what club?"

"The Just. Another. Player. Club."

Paul C Maurer said...

His son eyed him as he reached for the remote.

“Don’t change it, Dad. It’s Jersey Shore.”

“I know,” he responded. “That’s exactly why.” He paused as the TV blared out fist-pumping music. “Did you know that you can actually drop IQ points if you watch that crap? It’s a proven fact.”

“Nyuh-uh,” his son replied.

“Yes. And GUIDO is really an acronym for ‘Geeked Up Idiots Destined for Oblivion’. And SNOOKIE is code for ‘Sniveling Nymphos with Outrageously Oversized Knockers Inflated and Enhanced’”.

“What’s an acro-acro-whatever?”

His dad shook his head sadly. “One hundred nineteen and dropping fast.”

Marjorie said...

"Gidget" called Betsy. I walked over to the corner of the boardwalk. Betsy gushed, "You are killing it. You are like so totally hot in that Scoop outfit, and I am so jealous."

I was feeling her love. "Betsy you look so cute. Don't be so down on yourself. That bag you are carrying is totally retro. Oh, look, here comes Max."

I ran over to Max and messed with his hair. "Look at you! You went from a dorky mullet to a kewl Byronesque. You are, as of today, my new CACK, Max. You know: coruscating, adorable, chill, kafiltafish."

Theresa said...

He talked to me again today. It was only for a second and probably only because I was standing next to Emma, but who cares. He said, “Hi Lisa,” then smiled at me. It took everything I had not to let the excitement brewing within me explode. I wish I could say he took me in his arms, confessed his love for me, but that’ll never happen. I have to accept reality. All I am is his little sister’s best friend and that is all I will ever be while he will be my B.I.N.G, the boy I’ll never get.

Theresa said...

His hand slid into my hand and as soon as I felt his fingers close over mine I knew it would be all right. We had each other and most importantly I had my B.I.C.C.O, boy I could count on, back.

Theresa said...

His lips were on mine in an instant. I didn’t push him away like I thought I would. Instead I succumbed to the undeniable connection. And when his hand caressed my back all the uncertainty I harbored inside seemed to float away. I couldn’t hide it any longer. I was incontestably falling for him, falling for the one who we all referred to as the school D.A.G, dangerous and gorgeous.

Rebecca Kirschbaum said...

SUZIE

Angelina the Chihuahua dug her paws into the floor, stretching. Hours of grueling work on query letters--yuck. The seemingly cranky (although actually well-meaning) Query Shark Extraordinaire had ripped her letter to shreds time after time, making the leather shoe she’d destroyed look like cloudy skies to Katrina. She hadn’t lived down the destruction--Mom put the leather shoes out of snacking range, like she would nibble on something so foul, again. Angelina started in to work:

Dear SUZIE (SOMEBODY UNDERSTANDING, ZEALOUS, INTERESTING, AND EXCELLENT!) When I met Brad, the Doberman, I guess you could say I was naïve. Bad boys…

Laurie Lamb said...

“I hear you’ve got a girlfriend,” says my older brother.

“Mm,” I say.

“Is that a yes or a no?”

“I guess.”

“You guess? Erin better not hear you say that.”

“You’re kind of annoying right now. I’m watching this show,” I say.

“I thought she liked Tommy Hudson. That’s pretty stiff competition.”

“Who told you that?”

He doesn’t answer.

I can’t control the volume of my voice. “Who?”

“Take it easy. I’m just messing with you. Erin’s won herself quite the BET,” he says.

I raise my eyebrows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Boy Entering Turmoil. You’re there, man.”

Laurie Lamb said...

“Is it safe to enter?”

“Absolutely.”

Suzie hushed her barking dogs and motioned the unfamiliar delivery man into the office. She noted his metrosexual air despite the brown uniform.

“Derek on vacation?”

“Yup. Name’s Tyler. I’m the spare guy until September.”

“Summer job? Like it?”

“Yup. Great work out for my ‘boys’.” Tyler slapped his legs which invited the dogs back to him. Sage, Epic, Slevin, and Fate licked Tyler’s ‘boys’ with enthusiasm.

“Your dogs sure are friendly,” said Tyler.

Suzie leaned in to shoo the dogs away and caught a whiff. Poor Tyler was BOYS—Boy Overdoing Ylang-ylang Scent.

Laurie Lamb said...

The platform of the tree house creaks as I inch closer to the crude door. Voices leak out. Every now and then the lower ones crack. Laughter follows.

I’m jealous. I was once part of such gatherings. Until the slip up.

Why couldn’t I keep my feelings to myself?

My fingers trace the new block letters that shout off the rough sawn lumber.

BOYS ONLY

Brotherhood Of Y-chromosomes Sell-outs ONLY.

So much for loyalty and best friends. It wasn’t supposed to matter that I was a girl. Stupid feminine me.

My shoulders slump and I step backwards down the ladder.

Remilda Graystone said...

Okay, here's mine:

I watched Crooked Grin approach Shannon. “I saw you looking at me from across the room. You wanna ask me a question? Like if I wanna dance or something?”

Shannon giggled. “Why?”

“Well, you’re good-looking, I’m good-looking. Why not?”

Shannon smiled and followed him.

I turned to find Crooked Grin’s friend advancing. “Hey.”

“Hey?”

“You want to dance?” Was that smile supposed to charm me?

“I’ll pass.” I looked at Shannon and frowned. “Do me a favor, though. Get that CAD away from my friend.”

“CAD…?”

“You know, your Carefully Appointed Decoy? Get him away from her. She deserves better.”

Good luck to everyone who has entered!

bookaholic said...

I'd love to win DUFF! Am actually dying for a copy of the book!! Now for my story....

In a hypothetical situation if Darcy of P&P met Katniss of Hunger Games:-

Darcy- *staring ensues*

Katniss- What the hell are you staring at me like that for?

Darcy- It doesn't suit a lady to converse with a gentleman in this manner. Pardon me Miss,but your demeanor is quite uncivil.

Katniss- Excuse me,but we don't talk in that freakish manner! Which century are you from,dude?

Darcy- These bitter accusations appall me. Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your way of speaking? You are extremely stubbornly impolite.

Katniss- You are such a WASP! *exits*

Darcy- *still staring*

(Read: Weird Antsy but Sexy Prig!)

TirzahLaughs said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TirzahLaughs said...

My heart did that fluttery thing again when Jamie Horsley smiled at me. I smiled back.

My hands were sweating.

Before I lost my nerve, I opened my mouth to ask him to hang out with me this weekend.

Then his so-called friend, Jason, stuck his butt between us and farted. Laughing like a hyena, he flipped my bra strap and made monkey faces at me.

Why do all nice, cute guys always have the one desiginated asshole farting friend? Really did ever guy need a DAFF? Because girls hated the DAFFs.

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Five Random Things About Suzie

1. I drink so much orange soda, it's probably running through my veins. I've been known to go through a twelve pack of diet sunkist in a day.

2. I'm legitimately nocturnal (or a vampire). I will be so exhausted at two pm that I'm falling asleep standing up - it has happened before, at Six Flags no less - but as soon as the sun goes down I'm wide awake.

3. I have a gorgeous unused $6000 Reem Acra wedding dress hanging in my closet, and it showed up on my doorstep the same day my (now ex) fiance broke up with me. And thank God for that. I wouldn't have wanted to waste that dress on him.

4. Social anxiety plagues me daily. I write a script and practice in front of the mirror when I have to make a phone call, but most people who interact with me have no idea how nervous I am (or perhaps they lie) because I've worked so hard to try to overcome it.

5. I'm actually worried that I will never love my children (when I do have them in the far off future) as much as I love my dogs. I just like animals better than people - they're sweet and innocent and soft and furry - is that so wrong?