Saturday, May 22, 2010

a writing challenge for YOU - take 2!

You know the brilliant and fabulous mean and sharkly colleague of mine The Janet Reid.




You saw her contest to win a copy of an ARC for the amazing and life-changing YOU by Charles Benoit.




You may have even entered to win.




You thought she could get away with tormenting me with limericks.  (And she is an excellent limerick writer, is she not?)




But you underestimated the trouble with godsends.  And you underestimated me.




I've officially hijacked YOU and her contest.  See evidence below.









If you want to win the ARC (you should), there are new rules.


Your challenge? 100 words that describe what Janet is going to do now.


Rules:
100 words or fewer.


Answers/entries must be posted to the comment column of this post.


You may lie, cheat, steal and bribe to get info.


You may collaborate and collude.


You may work in groups or alone.


Points are awarded for originality and correct use of second person POV.


Extra points for using the words "gnaw" "chomp" "minions" and "herpet American assistant" or for starting with the first line of the book "You're surprised at all the blood."


You have 24 hours (that's three extra hours!).  The contest now closes at 3:00 pm on Sunday May 23rd.




Prize (and here's the best part): the winner gets the ARC of YOU.  (And don't worry, I will make sure The Janet Reid knows you are completely innocent.  I will bear the full measure of her sharkly wrath).

64 comments:

Harley May said...

You, Suzie Townsend, will be devoured by Janet Reid.
No sense in fighting it and few will be surprised.
Were it her Scotch or a cupcake, You would not have to bleed.
What You did took BALLS, but now there’s nowhere to hide.

You should still run, Suzie Townsend.
Take that ARC and fight for your life.
Her wrath is well deserved and she will delight in your end.
With your final breaths ask yourself, “Was this worth all the sharkly strife?”

Molly O'Neill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Molly O'Neill said...

Oh, rly?

*pulls up lawn chair to watch this play out.*

thelittlefluffycat said...

You're surprised at all the blood.

You entered the Shark Lair meaning to check on her restraints, but she gnawed through them, and she's gone. Along with the aluminum bat she keeps behind the door.

The office seems so quiet. Your brain skids on ideas. You shiver. You reach to rub your shoulders just as a hand lands there. Your eyes widen, and you take a deep breath, try to make your voice calm.

"Shouldn't you be saying 'boo!', Janet?"

"No," comes the reply, punctuated by a tapping sound. "BOOK."

Your brain decodes the sound.

An aluminum bat.

beth said...

You're surprised at all the blood. You knew Janet Reid had a sharky reputation, but you had no idea that the reputation was founded on truth.

"What happened?" you ask.

Janet Reid smiles, exposing all three rows of pointy teeth. "This writer tried to hand-deliver his query—all three pages of it, wrapped in a Starbucks cup packed with flour.”

"What did you do?" you ask, shocked.

Janet Reid licks her lips and picks up a make-up compact to cover her grey-toned skin.

"I took care of him," she says.

You are not surprised.

Kay said...

For some reason, my crystal ball is say you should smear yourself with Marmite.

Josin L. McQuein said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MeganRebekah said...

You pass a young woman slumped against the wall outside Cafe Nunez.

Drunken hobo, you think. The girl's whimper catches your attention. When you kneel beside her you're surprised by all the blood.

“Who did this to you?” you ask.

You press your ear against her lips as she whispers, “Shark.”

You're certain you misunderstood. Sharks? This is Manhattan, not Long Island.

The ambulance's arrival floods the girl in fluorescent light. You notice her left arm is gnawed off to the elbow, leaving behind jagged bite marks. Maybe there are sharks in Manhattan after all.

Josin L. McQuein said...

You're surprised at all the blood.

Former Godsend Suzie Townsend doesn't mess around when she sends her mutant puppy minions to do a job. One hits with the sad eyes, the other goes for cute with the blue baby bib, and then: Pow! Gnaw! Chomp! There's not a herpet American assistant who stands a chance...

You just didn't expect snakes to bleed so much.

That smell's gonna draw Sharky faster than ants on a Twinkie. After the wailing and gnashing of teeth, Janet will be left to curse her officemate's moxie, and wonder if God has a return policy.

Laurie Lamb said...

You’re surprised at all the blood, too.
“My dogs only eat premium dog food, Janet. I hope one of your minions is going to clean this mess up.”
“I have come for the ARC of YOU and to avenge the paper cut you gave my Herpet-American assistant.”
You decide Janet needs a warning. You throw your dogs some chew toys.
Gnaw. Chomp.
Janet backs away from the dog bed and the ARC of YOU.
“I’ll get you, Suzie Townsend. You may have won this time but I’ll get you.”

Shelli Cornelison said...

You're surprised by all the blood. The Shark has already been there. It’s obvious she gnawed and chomped a few innocents in her quest, but she never found it.

You, however, fueled by the gallons of orange soda your minions provided, are able to lay your hands upon it with no need for carnage. Your charm serves you well.

Exhilarated by your heist, you feel a tingle run up the back of your neck. The cold, slithering, sensation -- you recognize it, but it's too late. Her pet American assistant wraps around your throat and you release the ARC.

Mine!

Lisa Desrochers said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P.Kellach W. said...

( refers to my Janet post --see for context :) )

You Janet have now realized what Suzie has done. Already appalled by your flatulent idea of how to hide the book in the first place you wonder if you should just go attack Suzie with your gaseousness-- but it's so out of character? You wail into a nearby mirror, " Can I do this again? Can I cover my already embarrassing attempt to hide the book with more 6th-grade behavior?" Instead you stare at the boiled eggs,douse them with something secret and sinister and make your way to Suzie's......

Lisa Desrochers said...

“You’re surprised at all the blood?” Janet turns to Jane Slayre, a smile curving her lips, exposing bloody rows of shark’s teeth. “You’re not the only one who can—”

She’s interrupted by a groan. Her gaze drops to the gnawed remains of Suzie, her minion, chained to Janet’s desk. “How did she do it? She’s been chained here for a year?”

She rummages through everything within reach once again and comes up empty. She chomps Jane, frustrated, but then it hits her. The answer.

“Call Patrick Lee!” she barks at her herpet American assistant. “I need The Whisper! Now!”

trendiestandy1990 said...

You watch Janet Reid. You follow her to Suzie’s apartment and sure enough surrounded by Suzie’s dogs is the book. Janet came prepared it was daylight so she knew Suzie would be sleeping. As for the dogs well Janet gave them a doggie sleeping pill, not enough to hurt them just knock them out for a bit, and it worked. You wait outside and hide behind the big planter in the hall and then after a few minutes out pops Janet with the Arc. And a huge grin.

Sarah Laurenson said...

You're surprised at all the blood, but you should’ve guessed it would be like this. Sharks gnaw. Those teeth don’t cut cleanly, nor do they cauterize. They hack through flesh. Chomp, chomp. You’ve never seen the damage this close before, in person. TV has not prepared you for that metallic smell, for being on the verge of hurling. You shudder and swallow your lunch for the second time. Or was that the third? It’s late. If you’re found here with this dismembered herpet American assistant, The Shark’s minions will offer you as the next sacrifice. Appease the Literary God.

_*rachel*_ said...

You're surprised at all the blood; you didn't know you had that much in you.

On the other hand, you'd always wondered what shark teeth looked like up close.

~Jamie said...

You’re surprised at all the blood. But really, she’s a shark.

She’ll gnaw and she’ll chomp, but she won’t get that ARC.

The problem with this romp is: She likes to be in control.

As her herpet American assistant, you well already know.

Hijacking her contest, most would consider taboo.

The concern is now, how she’ll come after YOU.

Valerie Kemp said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Valerie Kemp said...

You’re surprised at all the blood.

While it’s true you’ve fantasized many times about being the victor of a glorious fight to the death, you never imagined it quite like this.

Standing amongst the scattered, broken, (and very bloody) bodies of Janet Reid’s minions, the ARC of YOU thrust victoriously over your head, you realize a painful truth.

Janet is going to kill you.

The minions she sent may have failed, but Janet won’t.

It won’t be quick, either.

The shark will make you watch while she gnaws each one of your limbs.

She’ll make you pay in screams.

Patty said...

You’re surprised at all the blood. The body of Jeff Somers lies, half dressed (of course), inside his closet. You press a hand to your mouth. Such a waste.

You note the stump where his hand once was. He’d found You, tried valiantly to protect it.

And failed.

You turn to go, disgusted, and hear a faint gurgle. You rush back, lift Jeff’s head. Alive!
And completely sloshed.

Relieved, you laugh. The Shark, after gnawing on Jeff Somers, must be blind stinking drunk herself.

You head for the only place an intoxicated Shark could escape notice. The Hudson River.

(Note to Harley - you are DA BOMB! Note to Jeff - please forgive me for maligning you. I'll share any winnings:)

A.L. Sonnichsen said...

Donning snorkels, you and your scheming accomplice, Ms. Ortiz, descend into the murky depths. This is the only place to hide it, in the next door cave to The Shark’s own lair. She’ll never suspect. She thinks you can’t breathe down there. Little does she know about the pink-painted walls, the disco ball, and the fluffy armchair. She’ll stalk the streets of Manhattan, concealing her tail beneath that signature gray trench coat. She’ll chomp greedily on the heads of her minions, attempting to gain information. But none of them will betray you. And you will keep YOU forever.

KDJames said...

You're surprised at all the blood on the floor
One chomping laid waste to the thick sturdy door
The gnawing was fierce
(The minions were worse)
Ah, cleaning off YOU will be quite the chore.

What a shame, as you survey the damage to book
In great herpet battle, such a beating it took
The cover is torn
The pages quite worn
Perhaps you will purchase your copy for Nook...

Dan Krokos said...

What *won't* she do?

LTM said...

You’re surprised at all the blood? Honestly? You’ve forgotten that sharks are at the top of the food chain because they never stop moving forward, gnawing and chomping through your door. The stolen ARC recovered, You, Nervous Nelly, former minion, Die Twice.

(Pass the scotch. I’m turning into a prune over here.)

Mel Skinner said...

Suzie has YOU and you’re surprised at all the blood. Where’s herpet American assistant gone? You feel a rising need to chomp and gnaw that a steady stream of queries cannot assuage. It’s the scent in the water.

Your minions—they’re everywhere—and you’ll send them on reconnaissance. You already know about the uses of Starbucks and puppies. Even the awesome-at-auction Agent Suzie will concede to you in the end. All you need do is bring The Stare.

You still question a slithery role.

Mark Siegal said...

You're surprised at all the blood. Its translucent scarlet clings to the brim of the pint glass, shimmering under the harsh lights at Twins Pub. You gnaw on your tongue and chomp down against the rising bile.

"Drink up," says Janet. She nudges the glass at you. A single bead dribbles onto the bar.

"I thought you meant a shot," you say. "Where'd you find that much?"

"Drink, you herpet American assistant. Nothing less will placate my minions for stealing YOU-KNOW-WHAT."

You lift the glass and take one apprehensive mouthful. You're surprised at how much it takes exactly like blood.

Ciara said...

You’re surprised at all the blood. The shark is clearly trying to send a message with it, but the sheer amount she’s poured over Suzie Townsend’s desk seems a little ostentatious to you. Not to mention rude, considering the fact that you’re going to get soaked in it once it spreads over to your side of the desk. You did resign yourself to stains long ago, but you were expecting coffee rings, not bodily fluids. Unsettled, you watch the shark tip over another chum bucket of gore and brains and think, Really now, all this fuss over me?

Maricar said...

You’re surprised at all the blood.

But why should you be? The Janet Reid has been known to chomp lesser minions for tea. You underestimate her. You do not know the depths she has gone to bring to justice those who incur her sharkly wrath.

You cajole and bribe to find a way out, looking over your shoulder all the while. You catch a glimpse of her, rows of sharpened teeth glinting. You toss her a query to gnaw on. She ignores it and goes straight for YOU.

You’re surprised at all the blood? You shouldn’t be.

Marjorie said...

She will call on her Twitter minions to create gnawing Tweets to hoist godsends by their own petards.

Shauna said...

You’re surprised at all the blood. You shouldn’t be nitwit. Piercing your own ears was asinine. How could you help it? You couldn’t, not with Pierre the messenger boy biking here now. Blast Pierre and his hotness! You’re usually so unflappable. You chomp on the ice that should have numbed your lobes. You’ve heard he has a thing for herpet American assistants with 80’s size hoops.

A knock, it’s him. Smitten, he gnaws at you. Three hours, fourteen chai lattes later you wander, lost. Pierre he’s gone! The ARC, it’s gone! Saboteur… he was just another of her sharkly minions.

Terri said...

You’re surprised at the blood pounding in your ears as you listen to your lawyer friend.

"Janet is at the precinct screaming about Grand Theft Contest! An arrest warrant is imminent."

You ask him how she did it.

"First, she wrote a 250-word narrative of the crime. The sergeant was intrigued and asked for another fifty pages. Then the prosecutor demanded a full rendering of the contest theft. He loved it and is going full-steam ahead."

You ask how contest-jacking can be a crime. You hear him sigh.

"Suze, if you repped a few legal thrillers, you’d know these things."

Sydnee said...

Before you can assess the disarray of the office, the floor beneath you gives way. A short descent into darkness, and a splash. Water surrounds you, and the fluorescent lights of the office are a glimmer above a trapdoor.

You bob on the water. Something brushes your calf. “What the-”

The Janet Reid juts her nose from the water and sniffs the air. “Herpet American assistant?”

Slowly, you shake your head ‘no’.

She blinks. “Damn. I thought she was back from her lunch break.” A grin. “I already ate her puppy.”

You are speechless, but not for long.

Gnaw. CHOMP.

The Zuccini said...

"You're surprised at all the blood leaking out of that herpet American assistant and her minions lying dead on Janet's Persian rug.

You chomp down on your lip as regret gnaws at your bones. As it turns out, Scotchgard does make a difference.

Any way you know have the book and have hidden it anew. Can anyone find it before time runs out?

The Zuccini said...

Hint: It's no longer in the United States. What are you going to do?

Sean Patrick Reardon said...

You’re surprised by all the blood and wonder if the taxidermist will cut you a break for making his job easier.

Dah..Na. The ring tone on the cell interrupts. It’s The Snake, finally. You down the rest of the Chivas, answer it.

“How many?” the voice asks.

“Two.”

“How much time we got?”

“Less than an hour. It’s messy too.”

“Christ Shark, how bad?”

“Bad.”

“I’ll be there in fifteen. Go see a movie.”

Lili Tufel said...

You're surprised at all the blood, paralized by fear. The shark's glare suddenly turns toward your fallen cupcakes.
"Rental cat," she whispers. "Rental cat gave you those cupcakes." She spits out the gnawed tail of an innocent puppy.
"That's right." Suzie pets her slobbering boxer. "Rental cat is MY minion."
"You will pay for this Townsend." The shark chomps mercilessly at a stuffed rooster.
"Stop. I brought scotch!" Joanna appears holding an Ambassador bottle.
"Give back the Arc, Suzie. You know you're no match for the shark." Your voice is calm and assertive. After all, you also want some scotch.

Cheryl said...

A soul-emasculating scream rips through the glass and steel reef. You were so close! All your efforts—wasted! You spent hours relentlessly pursuing your goal. You pieced together scraps of information extracted from the ultimate ocean predator. You hired the street cart, waiting for the call of, “Sushi! Cupcakes!” to fulfill its promise of emptying the office of its denizens. Why did she have to ruin everything?! YOU were within reach – lurking under a laptop, hiding among the slush. Vengeance is yours. You turn to the Shark. “I’m in.” She smiles. Your lips curl revealing matching rows of razor-sharp teeth.

John said...

You’re surprised at all the blood, but everybody says removing a tattoo is worse than getting one. Anyway, it’s a price you have to pay; there’s a new boss in town. You gnaw a pencil against the pain as manga-man erases the shark and inks in a Diet Sunkist can. His Herpet-American assistant hands him a fresh tube of “neon tangerine.” Just as you wonder if you’ve seen that assssisssstant before, your vision blurs. You should’ve known Janet would never let traitorous minions live. The poison works as fast as a mako’s chomp. Who’ll be left to claim YOU?

Blee Bonn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blee Bonn said...

Oh, darn. I didn't do second person so have to redo mine.

GEORGIAM said...

You’re surprised at all the blood. Did I tell you to go back to the crime scene? Suzie (who knew you had minions?) may have saved you, but Janet is on the prowl. ‘Gnaw’ and ‘chomp’ are the only words in her vocabulary. Be careful. Go to 35th street. Yes, NY. Bad news. Janet did it. Suzie is now officially a zombie. And she has that herpet American assistant under her command. Oh, and Janet has booby trapped the whole building. How did you even make it to the office? Oh. So you’re a zombie now? My bad.

Jennifer said...

You’re surprised at all the blood. The reek of it mixes with the odor of puppy saliva and snakeskin. You didn’t think her capable of such a deception. You didn’t think her adorable minions would gnaw and chomp their way to such a betrayal.

But she has underestimated you. She thinks you stand alone, but she forgets. There are six thousand ready to back you up. Your fingers poise over the keys. Six thousand who will tear and claw their way to vengeance. She thinks she’ll be safe at Book Expo. Protected. But you’ll be waiting. You and your army.

N said...

You're surprised at all the blood, but of course, it's fake cherry-flavored cake-decorator stuff. You can't afford minions, so you can eat all the good parts yourself, including the Herpet American Assistant crawling up the side. You chomp off her head and the shark fins made of icing, Then you gnaw at the replica of the book you've been trying to win.

Who says literature isn't nourishing. Does cake count? Mmm!

PJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Working Stiffs said...

You’re surprised at all the blood
Your hijack attempt, a dud.
Your blue jeans and your little black shoes
Just last weekend made all the news.

Janet Reid needed a fighter
So she called on a Pennwriter
Who appeared on a lark:
“Victim of Query Shark.”

“Minion,” she said
“I want Suzie’s head.”
“Consider it done,
You’ve called the right one.”

VQS jumped in her car
212 wasn’t too far.
You don’t stand a chance
I will make you blanch.

There’s already a log
On the Working Stiffs blog.
So go there to see
What happened to ST.

Richmond Writer said...

She gnawed at your client list
in search of new talent
Godsend was hellbent in a tryst
of betrayal, no assssitant
was she but a rival of merit
You seethe and plan till
she swears to you all do I owe it.
The minion has great skill
to chomp through the slush
and find the two edged sword
of a writer that can shush
colleagues who lie and collude
to steal, bribe, or cheat
a shark of her food,
the manuscript sweet.
You went from draft to arc
Hijacked! Nip this in the bud
212, target your mark
You’re surprised at all the blood.

J.D. Klousia said...

You are initially surprised that there is no retribution for your sabotage. Days, weeks and months go by. Fear gnaws at you each morning on the way to work, but nothing ever happens. You eventually forget all about your little joke. Janet has been nothing but kind to you for the past year; your memories of her sharky ways now seem like the over-exaggerated imaginings of a child.

Until one day you open your mailbox to find a severed puppy head. You’re surprised at all the blood.

Ann Marie Wraight said...

You’re surprised at all the blood...could the birth of a SLOTH cause SO much gore?!

Le R had summoned (feisty) Ms. Reid along with (pole-dancing, hip-swaying) Ms. Townsend to be STREETWISE FAIRY GODMAMAS to her new Mascot. Le BABY SHOWER was oozing MINIONS, and you even saw HER PET (AMERICAN) ASSISTANT feeding the hairy infant carrots and…SUSHI?!

“GNAW….CHOMP…”

You’re ecstatically reporting the event:
“New mind blowing REALITY SHOW – SEARCH FOR THE LOST ARC!
Just.
For.

"YOU!"

Players must search for/recover ARC from bloody circumstances….”
A howl interrupted your commentary.
Ms. Townsend shot to the crib excitedly,

“YOU"
is hidden HERE!!!”

(EXACTLY 100 words - it was INCREDIBLY tough trying to limit myself! I managed to include ALL the props...PHEW!)
If you don't have any idea why I wrote about Le R and the sloth - have a look at her Friday post!
ABSOLUTELY no insults were intended to any of the characters...it was just business! It was ALSO great fun playing!
THANKS TO BOTH OF YOU!

Kristin Miller said...

“You’re surprised at all the blood rushing to enter this contest?” You say, lapping your thin, herpet tongue at a recently gnawed hole in JuJu’s throat. “The minions, they line up to do our bidding.”

She looks . . . frightened, this little American assistant. How different she is from the others. How hard a worker, big a dreamer!

But you’d known, from the beginning, what a delicious addition she would make to the hive.

The late nights, the liquid diet. Yes, she will love immortality. She will enjoy chomping on others!

How you laughed when she finally gave you reason to attack.

NotJana said...

You're surprised at all the blood. The Shark wasn't due for lunch until tomorrow.

You sigh and follow the bloody trail. You enter the office and see the Shark's herpet American assistant tightly wrapped around Suzie, preventing her from moving.

"What happened?"

"She stole my minions!"

You follow her eyes and find her beloved dogs in front of a small but empty pedestal, gnawing and chomping on some meaty bones.

You scratch your head. Usually, the dogs are the first to keep the Shark's assistant away.

"Why?"

"I kidnapped YOU."

You were surprised at all the blood. Not anymore.

aimeestates said...

You're surprised at all the blood. Who knew a twelve week old puppy could tear apart a herpet American assistant without breaking into a pant?

And while the gnawing and chomping of the inept thief may disgust you, more than that, there's no evidence The Shark was at the scene. Yet.

You know she's lurking in the shallow waters nearby, biding her time while plotting your defeat. That terrifies you, because you know the most important thing to her is the game you both play.

There's no doubt in your mind--she'd do anything to sink her teeth into YOU.

Janet Reid said...

Accomplices! Accessories After the Fact!

I shall have revenge!

WV (gotta love this!): spancem

Sarah Laurenson said...

"Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

dylan said...

Raiders Of The Lost ARC

"Snakes...it had to be snakes..."
- (Town, God,)Sendiana Jones


You’re surprised by the blood
You’re appalled at the speed,
With which vengeance is sought
For this stunning misdeed.

There’s a price on your head,
And a querylous crew,
Is combing the borough
Searching for “You”.

Don’t double-cross bookies
Nor upstage the Shark,
Lest you meet the same fate
As the late, great Miss Snark.

There’s a creed that applies
All throughout two-one-two,
The hell with thyself
To thine mentor be true.

Elisabeth Black said...

You jet to NYC with your rocket-pack. You skid to a halt before Suzie Townsend's building. In the darkness, you scale the front using suction-cups. You cut a hole in the window with a laser strapped to your index finger. The round of glass shatters on the sidewalk below. You toss beef jerky to the dogs to keep them quiet. You climb through the window, ninja-chop the evil-eyed attack chicken, grab the book, and make your escape.

You are Janet Reid's secret agent. You are Elisabeth Black. And YOU is yours.

Jacqueline C. said...

You're surprised at all the blood. There's even more than there was during the O’Donnell hit.

“What a mess!” Janet Reid asks you. “And why is that disgusting animal gnawing on Suzie?” she adds with a nod to your left.

Your gaze shoots to Rufus, one of your canine minions. Damn, you think as he chomps on Suzie’s severed arm. That definitely isn’t part of the plan.

“You didn’t make any specifications,” you answer.

“True,” she says reluctantly. “Just get out of here!” Janet hisses and hands over You.

You snatch it and leave, never one to miss an opening.

KDJames said...

Too much blood for you...

You walk into the local bookstore, stride over to the cashier, slap your credit card onto the counter. "Enough nonsense. I want YOU."

The cashier blinks. "Me? What?"

"No. YOU. I want YOU and I intend to have YOU."

He pales at your intensity. "But, but, I already have-- "

"Stop arguing. This is a pre-order. I want YOU the minute YOU is available."

He frowns at your lack of grammar skills. "But I'm not for sale."

"Foolish man, nothing will stand between me and YOU."

He panics. Runs.

Undaunted, you approach the next cashier.

CKHB said...

You are not amused.

You thought you had all bases covered, all loopholes closed, all secret entrances sealed.

You were wrong.

You are not, however, going to take this insult lying down. You release flying monkeys and send octopi into the sewers. You seek your betrayers with greater dedication than you sought Gary Corby’s email. You quaff more bourbon than Sean Ferrell, Jeff Somers, and Derek Molata combined. You feel only the dull throb of rage pounding in your temple like a stampede on Kari Lynn Dell’s ranch.

Then you smell the blood.

You smile.

YOU will be yours again.

KDJames said...

You all think it's cheating to post TWO entries? HA! Of course it is. I direct you to the "rules" section, where it clearly states:

"You may lie, cheat, steal and bribe..."

Melissa Guernsey said...

You're surprised by all the blood you see through your binoculars.

"Is that her?" Me

"Yep." BP

"She must have really loved the herpet American assistant the littlest pup mistook for a chew toy." Me

"Yep." BP

You hear the gnaw and chomp sounds. Those poor puppies...

"Good thing, you called the SF/F." (Special Female Forces) Me.

"Yep." BP

"Weapons ready, fire at will." Me radios.

Rapid gunfire is heard.

"BP was that your shot?" Me.

"Nope, broke a nail." BP

Me radios all the SF/F's. "It wasn't one of us."

"Probably one of the minions. Martinis?" BP

A Pen In Neverland: Angela Peña Dahle said...

I had to post anyway:

“You're surprised at all the blood. I mean kool aid.” Reid says over the phone. You hang up, slowly stepping back from the tykes huddled by the door. No surprise. The Shark has a limitless number of minions. Would they aid and abet you? Who's to say they won't chomp, or gnaw at said copy of You instead? Duly noted, but you benefit from the adjacent window and a few leftover kool aid packets stashed in your pocket. They are licking their lips. You are as capricious as the mercurial location of The Arc of You—only the masters win.

Hillary said...

“You’re surprised by all the blood?” he asks. You shake your head slowly, lips splitting over rows of teeth. He looks back at the gnawed body…parts dotting the floor. From his pocket he pulls thick, black leather gloves.

“Why don’t you go out for the night,” he says, an order framed as a suggestion. You glide toward the door, fin swishing. “Somewhere public, Janet. I’ll take care of Kortizzle.”

“And then?” you ask. The cleaner grunts as he lifts the first piece of abdomen.

“I know,” he says, sounding sad. “Then Suzie.”

“And her little dogs, too.”

Marjorie said...

So nu? Who won?

Search This Blog

Loading...

Popular Posts

Five Random Things About Suzie

1. I drink so much orange soda, it's probably running through my veins. I've been known to go through a twelve pack of diet sunkist in a day.

2. I'm legitimately nocturnal (or a vampire). I will be so exhausted at two pm that I'm falling asleep standing up - it has happened before, at Six Flags no less - but as soon as the sun goes down I'm wide awake.

3. I have a gorgeous unused $6000 Reem Acra wedding dress hanging in my closet, and it showed up on my doorstep the same day my (now ex) fiance broke up with me. And thank God for that. I wouldn't have wanted to waste that dress on him.

4. Social anxiety plagues me daily. I write a script and practice in front of the mirror when I have to make a phone call, but most people who interact with me have no idea how nervous I am (or perhaps they lie) because I've worked so hard to try to overcome it.

5. I'm actually worried that I will never love my children (when I do have them in the far off future) as much as I love my dogs. I just like animals better than people - they're sweet and innocent and soft and furry - is that so wrong?